my latest obsession..

sometimes some songs touch me so bad! the most recent one is this song called ennamo yedho (tamil for something unknown..) the lyrics of this song by the son of vairamuthu, Madhan Karky, and singer Aalap raju's incredibly youthful voice combined with harris jayaraj's music is sheer magic.. as always the poetry is the key - Madhan has managed to convey through words the beauty of the protagonists feelings without quiet giving it a name.. (which is why the song is called ennamo yedho..)

a few of the most memorable lines here.. notice the rhythm.. and definitely listen to the song!
http://madhankarky.blogspot.com/


Ennamo edho, 
Ennam thiralluthu kanavil; Vannam pirazhuthu ninaivil; Kangal iruzhuthu nanavil.
Ennamo edho, 
mutti mullaikkuthu manathil; Vetti erinthidum nodiyil; Muttu avizhuthu kodiyil.
Ennamo edho,
Minni maraiyithu vizhiyil; Andi agaluthu mazhaiyil; Sinthi sitharuthu velliyil.
Ennamo edho, 
Sikki thavikkuthu manathil; Rekkai virikkithu kanavil; Vittu parakkuthu tholaivil.

Edho kuviyamilla, kuviyamilla oru katchi pezhai; Ooho uruvamilla, uruvamilla naalai

Edho kuviyamilla, kuviyamilla oru katchi pezhai; Ooho arai manathaai vidiyithu en kaalai.

I need an outlet..

i have had things bottled up inside me for too long now.. can't take it anymore.. while there are lots of personal things going on in my life.. the thing i obsess most is work.. my team is going through a lot of transition right now and i feel very lost in all this transition and feel very frustrated..

the one thing that i keep asking myself, is this - i am doing good work, in all my transitions that's the one thing that is good.. i love my work and i am doing it well.. but the people around me are all in transition.. one of them went remote and 3 of them are moving out of the team by the end of the month.. i will be on leave too - for the next 5 months... and you probably know why.. but that still doesn't seem to mean much.. i feel restless and agonized.. and i feel like i can't take it anymore.. maybe this is the 8th month stress... but i want to be happy and calm.. not a nervous wreck...

i feel very alone too.. i keep talking all day.. with loads of people.. but i am also a loner... (no one will probably believe me if they know me) but i do feel like i live in my head a lot more than i live with people outside in the real world.. and in my head, i feel lonely.. like i have no one to confide into... i miss my close friends who i have left at different points in time for whatever reasons... people who knew me and didn't judge..

anyhow.. let bygones be bygones.. feeling more calm now.. esp as i am approaching closer to my massage time :)

have a good long weekend folks!