freedom in moderation..

okay.. i have long been telling myself that i am not a feminist.. in spite of all evidence to the contrary.. but as i am watching this movie called the duchess (its fantastic - you got to see it!) - my own feministic feelings are evident..

so the society has long denied a lot of freedom to women.. in the best interests of society itself.. firstly, women will be subject to men's wishes.. at all costs.. why even today.. in tamil nadu, it is common to hear "pull analum purushan, kal analum kanavan" - which means "even if he is grass, he is your husband, even if he is a stone, he is your husband".. then in the western civilization women were allowed to mingle in society like men.. this led to affairs (like in the duchess).. but women still couldn't own property, inherit and didn't have the right to their children who were considered the father's property.. with the threat of children, they were subjugated..

and then women's suffrage movement and feminist movements began and women were allowed to wear pants, ask for work like men and get the right to vote.. and with new laws they had the right to divorce.. yes, it is a problem in the west - high divorce rates.. but better that than to have women being beaten, and made to suffer - all in the interest of "society" and "children" - our society needs to find a solution and i daresay it will.. eventually..

as i write, i am so thankful.. i have been educated in the best institutions in the world.. i am married to a man who values my opinion, my freedom and respects me.. but we are not there yet.. i am not there yet.. i still own the kitchen (although that's changing rapidly too) and the general maintenance of my house.. i probably will continue to have the greater share of responsibility over my kids if and when i have them.. and at work, every day it's a struggle with a culture of men and their way managing clashing with proving that my way works too.. if not better than theirs.. these are definitely smaller than what the women endured 100 years ago in a completely male dominated society, but by no means insignificant..

i am for one, determined to do my best to change the way of things.. i will continue to talk about it, write about it, and in my own way make a change.. and as we progress towards this new society where men and women are indeed treated equally (sweden's there almost!) i will feel the impact of time on mankind! after all, there is no such thing as freedom in moderation!

yours dearly feminist,
m