home alone..

" who knows what we are capable of until we've done it.." plagiarized from a book i flipped through in the library yday.. but the line caught my eye.. it sort of articulates what I feel about almost everything that i witness on this earth.. suicide bombers, nazis, adulterers, murderers.. who knows what we are capable of until we've done it.. i guess it is a wisdom that comes from shocking yourself repeatedly... i remember starting out as a young innocent and going through the various steps of disillusionment till i have reached a point where i can readily believe a lot about myself.. both sacred and otherwise!

that said.. let me take this post to a movie review.. i saw 2 movies today.. udaan and dil se.. both tremendously beautiful.. Udaan is the story of a 17 year old from a dysfunctional family and what he goes through.. the narration itself is very poetic and since the 17 yr old aspires to be a writer, there are some really good verses in the movie.. and my heart kept going out to the 6 year old trapped in this family..

dil se.. aah.. what can i say.. saw it for SRK (and i am a big fan) and it didn't disappoint.. i saw this movie a long time ago and remember feeling disappointed about the tragic ending.. it didn't jibe with me at all.. not so now.. i loved the movie.. the irrationality of the human cognitive system... and the obscure title dil se makes sense all of a sudden.. it is an irrational movie made real because of the all too familiar vagaries of the heart..  the cinematography of the movie is so beautiful.. and again the whole movie is a poem... it's a thrill to be watching the beautiful landscapes of the movie and shah rukh's liquid eyes are heady! (a scene in this movie that i liked too much was the one where he mentions three things about her that he dislikes and proceeds to say how the same three things draws him to her like a moth to a flame..it's a beautiful piece of cinema by mani rathnam..)

feeling pretty satiated (and the feeling of disappointment at the end of an indulgance that i had written about).. i keep telling myself that i want to write.. but it is hard.. i want to try a short story.. but my brain draws a blank.. how should i choose a theme? how do i impersonalize a story? i have seen so many of my talented friends make a go at it and it's beautiful.. but i am yet to gain that courage...

this weekend's been a home alone experience for me.. the first time i am spending a weekend by  myself in this country... it was enjoyable actually.. to be totally free... thought i will be lonely.. but i am not.. the rain is giving me company.. and lush green dull days and cicadas filled nights are beautiful to enjoy alone... and of course chai and coffee can dispel all feelings of loneliness any time of day!!

love you all.. for adding meaning to my existance!
meenakshi